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"South Australia" in my head (which now makes me laugh because of the Olympic crack!fic I was reading earlier - Kelly, remind me to send it to you) has morphed into Anne Murray singing "Animal Crackers in my Soup," which is yet more proof of how cracked my brain occasionally often is. (Now updated w/ new nifty blow-'em-up features!) But it's a bad habit that evokes bad memories that stirs up bad fuzzy avoidance-mode behaviors. So instead I'm heading it off at the pass and staying up of my own accord.īut I'm still useless for anything involving focusing and making connections and actually having to use my brain, so it's all repetetive surface-focus activity - freecell, spider solitaire, minesweeper (though that gets boring too quickly) or maybe some good ol' Wrath. And if I were to be a practical person and try and go to sleep (because it's 12:30, and all responsible boys and girls go to bed early so they can get up bright and productive off to their little jobs, don't they dad?) (hey, where'd that extra dose of bitter come from?) I woudn't be able to sleep.
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It touches some deep well (reptilian mind, or is that only for fear/aggression response?) that maybe I don't know how to deal with, so the good self-defending mind shuts it down, though imperfectly. Something.not "troubles" me, because it's not that there was something wrong or disturbing about the story, but it roots in and takes up space that I don't have to spare. Perhaps maayan might say ghosts live in the story, but that's her language, and appropriate enough, since her stories were frequently the cause of this. Not because there's necessarily any super-deep meaning of life complicated philosophical questions in there, but. How to explain in logic-sounding language? There are nights when nothing will do but endless rounds of spider solitaire. I know pouring a glass of wine won't help, but sometimes it feels like it will. It makes me want to write, but I can't turn the volume up on the currents, can't catch the words ("You live in the country, but you do not speak the language") or step into the flow, and it makes my fingertips buzz just a tiny bit more, and the muscles in the creases of my elbows twitch. Like hearing a conversation through a thick wall - all you get are the vibrations, a murmuring hum. The thing about being makes my fingers tremble, just a little, and I feel currents running through my head. The Redemption of Althalus, David & Leigh Eddings Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, JK Rowling The Black Stallion Returns, Walter Farley Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, Al Franken Good Omens, Neil Gaiman and Terry PratchettĪ Swiftly Tilting Planet, Madeline L'EngleĪll Quiet on the Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, JK Rowlingīernard Cornwell: Sharpe's Rifles, Sharpe's Company, Sharpe's Enemy, Sharpe's Honour, Waterloo KnaakĪ Small Death in Lisbon, by Robert Wilson The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, Christopher Mooreĭragons of a Lost Star, Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickmanĭragons of a Vanished Moon, Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickmanīernard Cornwell: Sharpe's Fortress, Sharpe's Battle, Sharpe's Devilĭragonlance Heroes, Vol. Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, Christopher Moore Without Reservations: Travels of an Independent Woman, Alice Steinbachĭragons of a Fallen Sun, Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman "The Waiting Room" - Buffy, Death, a living room. "Five Things that Never Happened to Spike" - by Kita.
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"When Hellmouths Collide" - Buffy/Hercules. "Naked Quidditch!" - HP, humourous emails "Flying Pigs, Paper Hats, and Pretty Girls All in a Row" - Smallville, humor "Runaway Trains at 3AM" - Buffy/Smallville "The King of Practical Wisdom" - Gilmore Girls What kind of BtVS fan are youĪngel is my male BtVS soulmate. What LotR Personality are you? And where in Middle-Earth do you live? I'm Quirky - in a somewhat disturbing way "I know," Charlie said amiably, "but we´re all out of bitter revenge, so it´s either tea or nothing." - Cassie Claire's "Draco Veritas" "I don´t want tea," said Hermione grumpily.